Won't you please tell us something about yourself?

I've had a variety of humiliating and low-paying jobs since my incredibly expensive education ended with me dropping out of college and touring America. I like to drink. Musically, I'm on "Joy Division", "Radiohead", and "Folk Implosion" now, but my tastes tend to change frequently. I have a lot of one night stands.

Any significance to your capping handle?

It's a fictional product from a Saturday Night Live parody commercial, circa the Gulf War. I wanted something for my SCIFI Dominion handle that evoked corporate/industrial inhumanity to man, Lovecraftian mangling of the laws of physics, extra-terrestrial intrigue, and happy fun.

How did you discover Caption This! and/or Inventing Situations?

Just bouncin' around the MST website.

When do you usually cap?

On break, day or night. I work all shifts. Sometimes at the library. My computer died, I killed it, it made me angry.

Favorite sites on the internet (Other than CT/IS)?

www.comics2film.com and www.theforce.net

Favorite movie(s)/television show(s)?

Simpsons. Seinfeld. My favorite movie is "The French Connection", though I'm mostly into sci fi, fantasy, and horror.

If time and/or money weren't an object, what one thing would you do?

Live forever.

Any words of advice you'd like to pass along?

"Yes. Get off of the internet. It cannot be policed, and therefore has no value. I started capping to flex my funny bone, not as a social activity. When some people became abusive, many others turned French, and vanished. Then the social element of it could not be ignored. No atmosphere of fun could be maintained. Things are not so in the real world. Those with talent can find outlets more lucrative, and settle their differences like men. The web is too often a hiding hole for cowards. I'm done with capping. If you have a whit of sense, leave the cowards all alone. I have. See you in the funny pages. Happy Fun Ball."

Date added: 08/20/02