Website's Name:  Fred.  Except on Saturday nights, when it gets to be Mildred.
Website:  You're soaking in it.

Gender:  Male

Age: 26-30

Home:  Cincinnati, Ohio.  Lucky me.

The Scoop:
Was found on the underside of a rock and raised in the wild by a pack of rabid chipmunks.  I soon made my way to civilization and realized that, if I applied myself and focused on my objectives, I could easily be ruling the world and driving fear into the hearts of billions within a few years.

The Poop:
I know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, but I'm not telling.

Been capping since:  March 1999

My plans for world domination include:
1. Naming peanut butter as a food group unto itself.
2. Appointing Joel Hodgson to the Supreme Court.
3. Putting a price on Carrot Top's head.
4. Designating the week of May 23rd as Hot-Women-Must-Go-Topless Week.
5. Having James Lipton's chair wired so that audience members can administer random shocks.
6. Designating the middle finger as the official state bird.
7. Replacing death by electrocution and lethal injection, with death by Adam Sandler movies.  (Too cruel?)
8. Banning Disney from ever producing another movie, except under the direct supervision and approval of Pixar.
9.  Having Michael Eisner publicly flogged.  Repeatedly.
10.  Having Michael Flatley publicly beaten.  Repeatedly.
11.  Lots and lots of pudding.

Favorite Venues:  Glitter's Cap-Page Board, Caption This, Inventing Situations, the "Photo Captions" section at StarWars.com

Favorite stuff to cap:  Always something new, which kinda sucks because IS has only limited resources to pull from, and CT shows nothing but reruns.  I HATE capping "Crossing Over with What's-His-Name".

I cap:  Whenever I can.

We're gonna Shat with a wide assortment of toys, lotions, restraints, power tools and farming implements.

My guiltiest guilty pleasure:  "Big hair" 80s rock n roll.  Poison, Motley Crue, Faster Pussycat, Jackyl, and so on...  And for the last time, NO, it has nothing to do with why my hair is so long.

If I could have just one wish, I would wish for:
The perfect capping venue.  It would require a username and password, but you'd only have to give it once when you first sign in, then cap away to your heart's content.  The screen would be framed, with the screengrab in one frame, and the gallery in the other, updating automatically (and there would also be the frameless version for those who prefer it).  The community would be truly democratic, with any disputes or trouble being resolved by popular vote.  Troublemakers could be voted out and blacklisted, permanently or temporarily, while newbies could be welcomed in with open arms (and pie, baskets of porn, etc).  There would be profile pages, which the people could manage and update themselves, including being able to post a small gallery of favorite captions with relative ease.  There would be links pages, a built-in webring, and a built-in e-group/message board.  It would allow alternate handles, so you wouldn't have to sign out and sign back in to use one of your other handles, just choose it from a list or create a new one on the spot.  It could screengrab from anywhere- any channel, or image source, whatever.  And it would be housed on a private server so we wouldn't have to worry about conflicts with the web host.  And no banners or pop-ups!

One truly memorable experience:
In Caption This one time, when the grabber was down.  It was showing nothing but black screengrabs, with the occasional swatch of psychodelic color across it.  The cappers who were there not only did not despair or throw up their hands and leave, but they quickly turned the disaster into one of the funniest cap sessions I've ever seen.  Who knew that Jean-Paul Sartre's nether regions could be so damned funny?

WHY?
Why not?