'Timeless VOGUE', or: Couture Throughout Pseudo-History
by UpSky2
'Timeless VOGUE', or: Couture Throughout Pseudo-History
by UpSky2
 | One day, as I was working with Archimedioidus in the lab, I espied a scroll entitled, 'Timeless VOGUE'... it read as follows....: |
 | Your Mommy cares about how you dress. So be sure to dress warmly against the cold! If you want to become a slave miner on Squornshellous Kappa, |
 | you're really going to need some heavy insulation, and some good thick gloves too, to avoid blisters. See this young woman in yellow: |
 | - she clearly has the right idea about Principle #1: Staying Warm. And she has a spare blanket on her giant horsie, in case her boyfriend gets cold (looks like he might the way he dresses. Dont date chumps like this! but to continue:) On the other hand, if you are |
 | going to be working in a *civilized* environment, like this conventional office setting, something lighter would be good. Such as this dandy little outfit... - Well, maybe its a little too light. But if it gets you the job, its kosher enough, and oi-veh to Mrs. Grundy's disapproval. And you'll be such a treat to watch |
 | on the security cameras, when the post-Sept-11th constantly monitoring security guard guy, in some weird headgear from Carjackistan, gets tired of studying the Qu'Ran and does his job some again. |
 | Also, men will do *this* in 2nd story windows as you walk down the street. - Until you're two blocks down! |
 | On the other hand, this one's outfit is much too skimpy. If this is a battle, he should be in armor. Not for warmth, but just for the taste of it. On the other hand, if he's drunkenly clutching a telephone pole, singing the Marseillaise off-key, he may need heavier clothes, for sleeping on the pavement when he passes out. |
 | -- If there can be Only One, then let this fine plaid be your consolation when you don't win the Highlander Lottery. And its good in the forest too, gets damp there. -- |
 | Then there's this little number, in blue plush woven polyester. It is loose and takes wrinkles forgivingly, thus being doubly suited to any senior citizen. |
 | -- Of course, what you wear, and what you should wear, really depends on what you're aiming to *do*, or *get done*. Maybe she should lose the chains? or the white outfit instead? Beats me; I guess it depends on personal career aims. -- |
 | If you want to do the Highland fling in front of an audience of uptight but humorously forgiving Mennonites, and you have a peg-leg, well... Try to blush gracefully. |
 | -- And lastly, remember: Wherever you go, there you might yet be another day. Despite the guards posted outside to see that you do not pick your nose! So walk and dress with dignified restraint, and do not sneeze. |
 | So Archimedioidus: What think you? I know not how to interpret this enigmatic artifact. So I think I'll just stare at the ceiling awhile... 14 out of 15 aint bad, is it? But the design gave me no clues. |