DAY 4:

THE PENGUINS WERE COMPLAINING...
...Because it was so f**king cold this morning!  I did finally manage to wake up with my alarm (on the last day, sheesh), and was in the Fan Club admission line by about 5am.  I was actually within sight of the main door this morning.

Which kind of made it a bit worse, because the wind chill could rip the skin and 3 layers of sinew off your face in the bat of an eyelash, and today I was in those elements for an additional hour.  Luckily, I had learned some of my lesson from the previous 3 days and brought even more to cover up with.  Unfortunately all I had to work with was a few shirts and a light sweater top (even thinner than the shirts, actually).  It did help, though, because I threw it over my head and it worked very well as an impromptu wind break.  My cheeks are red enough from windburn already, thank you.  By the time I entered the building 3 1/2 hours later (they let us in early because we were all freezing so bad) I was a bit cold, but only my toes were really frozen to the point of pain.  Trust me, that's an improvement.

I did manage to avoid fatigue using a movement I call "The Stork" (not to be confused with "The Storch" which involves running around shouting "The Hekawi are coming!  The Hekawi are coming!")  When fatigue starts to set in, shift all your weight to one leg and flex the other behind you.  Don't just bend it; flex it.  Then shift to the other side.  Lather, rinse, repeat, until the fatigue goes away.  Testing indicates it doesn't seem to help with dandruff, smelly pits, erectile dysfunction or male pattern baldness, but we'll take what we can get.

Once inside, I made a bee line to the first item on my agenda.  Did I mention I'd completely mapped out my events for the day?  Well, I did, and I stuck to them completely with only one small deviation.


TO THE BIG SCREEN
My first stop was the "500 Ballroom" for the big screen showing of Clone Wars Volume 2.  I was first in line!  While waiting in line, the candy and soda vendor strolled past, and I thought about buying a Coke, until I noticed that the guy was a dead-ringer for C Everett Koop!  I was still thirsty, but that just kind of gave me pause.  Didn't think to get a picture of him, though.

I already knew what I was going to see, having watched it and recorded it when it aired in Cartoon Network.  But I wasn't really going to see the cartoon by itself; I was there for the entire movie-going experience.  The collective excitement of the crowd.  The cheers any time something great happened on screen.  The laughing every time something funny happened.  It's not just a movie; it's a bonding with hundreds of people who share your interests.

It rocked, plain and simple.


BAI BAI BABY
The next event on my rock solid itinerary was scheduled for a half hour after the cartoon ended, in the Fan Club Lounge: a small meet-and-greet with actress Bai (pronounced "bye") Ling, who has played many characters in the past (a list too long for this journal) and plays a senator in the final Star Wars movie.  I went, expecting to meet with a lovely and talented actress, get a few photos, and hear her answer a few questions from the gathered fans.  What I got was a meeting with a phenomenally beautiful and talented woman, tons of photos, and the chance to hear about her projects, ideology (in part), and thoughts on Star Wars in general (well this is a SW convention, is it not?)  She has another movie coming out in May, other than Star Wars, and will be travelling this summer to support it.  She enjoys many types of music, including classic rock n roll (I believe she mentioned Elvis by name).  She believes in "living for the moment" and experiencing life as it is, instead of how you expect it might be later.  That moment arose from a question asking her to compare George's Jedi ideology with the Eastern philosophies and religions she'd grown up with.  (She's from Chengdu, in the Szechwan Province of China, ladies and gents.)  She shared with us her singing voice, albeit very briefly.  I tried to catch it on video, but it is barely audible over the general cacophany of the room.  She also talked briefly about her Playboy layout, saying that she was frightened at first, but then became very comfortable with walking around naked when they weren't taking pictures.

Did I mention that she's very, very beautiful in person?  Really, I don't think the photos do her justice.  Especially these, because the glasses are obscuring her lovely eyes.


Lucky spud.


Look closely at this photograph...
...now find all the differences.

I was so impressed that I was inspired to break briefly from my itinerary, detour to the autograph hall, and get her autograph as well as another photo with her (which turned out better than the first because of the lighting).  Which makes me a liar, because I've often said that I don't go for autographs.


       
This vision of beauty is Bai Ling (also known as Ling Bai, as Eastern tradition places the family name, Ling, first).  That ugly critter standing next to the angel and marring an otherwise perfect photograph is, unfortunately, me.  The height difference is deceptive; she's wearing platform shoes, which add several inches to her height.
And this is the angel's autograph.  Notice the signature is not in our Western alphabet, but rather in Chinese script (or as close as she could get using a Sharpie).  Tres chic.
And... No, it's not for sale.


TALKIN' 'BOUT BAD GIRLS
My final event for the day was "Bad Girls of Star Wars," an interview and Q&A session with 4 lovely ladies who've played dubious, mysterious or just plain bad femme fatales at some point in the Star Wars saga.

That was interesting.

Hosting this little circus was Jay Laga'aia (say that 3 times fast), who- being that this was his last event for the convention- seemed to show little interest in maintaining sanity in the auditorium.  In fact, he appeared to want to stir up trouble at every opportune moment.  Jay, for those who don't recognize the name, played Captain Typho, eye-patched protector to Queen (then Senator) Padme Amidala.

His guests for this show were:

Michonne Bourriague, who played Aurra Sing, a character that appears all-too-briefly during the pod race of Episode 1, but whose story reaches deep into the Expanded Universe.
Christine Hewitt, who played one of the mysterious Tonnika twins in the cantina scene in A New Hope.

Sandi Finlay, who played Sly Moore, Palpatine's bald and blue assistant in Episodes 2 and 3.
Leeanna Walsman, the Aussie beauty who played bounty hunter Zam Wesell in Attack of the Clones.

The show's strangeness got off the an abrupt start when Jay walked on stage, and proceeded to brag about his newest toy: one of the FX lightsabers!


"I got a lightsaber!"

This prop would serve its role well as a timely distraction from poorly phrased answers by the ladies... Especially Ms Walsman, who dropped such classics as "[my friend] told me he'd bought me in the store" while talking about Star Wars toys, then tried to rectify the statement with "No!  The 12-inch one!" inadvertantly making the double meaning worse to this gutter-minded crowd.

To which Jay grabbed his new toy and shouted, "I got a lightsaber!"  (which only seemed to exacerbate the problem, really)

Sandi was certainly the most chatty one of the group, jumping in first to answer on nearly every question, and slipping up once when someone asked if George had given her much direction on what her character was like...

"[he told me] she's regal, anal, and a complete bitch," immediately after which she covered her mouth to prevent any other possibly dirty words from slipping out (this is a family show, folks).  To that remark, Jay replied, "It's okay.  Leeanna's already gotten us an R rating."

And the award for cutest moment goes to one of the final questions of the night, asked by a 6-year-old girl.  After she'd asked her question (which escapes me at the moment), Jay insisted that she join them on stage while her question was being answered.

I think she was frightened senseless with the idea of being pulled up onto the stage in front of a thousand or more strange people, but it was simply adorable.  Afterwards, he asked her who her favorite character was and she said "Padme."   Everybody all together now: "Awwwwwwwww."

And with that, Celebration 3 draws to a close.  No more waiting for hours in freezing cold lines, and no more waiting for hours in warm lines either.  No more hob-knobbing with famous faces.  No more gawking at questionable costumes.  No more leering at women in Slave Leia costumes.  And no more spending ungodly sums of money on stuff I wouldn't have missed a month from now if I hadn't bought them.  I had fun, and lots of it.  Was it worth $1000 for the hotel room?  I would say so.  You don't experience stuff like this in my hometown of Cincinnati, that's for damn sure.

Completely spent (in more ways than one), I settle in for a quiet night of DVDs on my laptop computer and the hotel's complimentary pretzels for dinner.  Yum.  I just hope they have something other than Coke to drink.  The convention had nothing but Coke, and I could really go for a Pepsi or a Dr Pepper right about now.

Now...  TO OPENING NIGHT!  AWAY!